A Hundred Shades of Colour
by Catygirl
Summary: AU from Season 3 "Hundred Days" and "Shades of Grey". Things in Sam's life take a dramatic change when Janet calls her on her feelings for Jack. Things get worse when Jack is a complete idiot! Don't own the episodes or characters.
1. Chapter 1

The start of a new multi-chapter AU. Set during Hundred Days and Shades of Grey. Many have done something with these episodes but I hope you enjoy. Like last time I will try to do a chapter once a day as it is done.

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_Stars so white_

Sam stood on the mountain letting the chill of the night envelope her. She was cold, but cold was good. She hadn't been out of the mountain in what seemed like forever. Actually she knew exactly when it had been, the day she had returned from Edora. Every since she had forced herself to work day after day, thinking nothing of it.

But now, after speaking to Janet, she needed to come here. She had always loved the stars, shining white in the sky. As a child she had wanted to know what they were, how they were made, if she could visit them. Now she looked up wondering if he missed her as much as she missed him, no not her, she scolded herself, the team. He was her CO, that was all. Tiredness was blowing everything out of proportion. So Janet enquired if there was a problem. Of course not, she thought as she began pacing. No problem, why would there be. Sure he was good looking, kind, caring, friendly – to some people. But no there was no problem at all.

Ok, she thought as she stopped and looked over the city, maybe a little problem but not one she needed to worry about. Sam sighed out loud, she should go back to work she realised, but the sky was incredible. The lights twinkling from millions of light years away. It was unbelievable. It was only less unbelievable because she had been there, not to these lights but to so many others. Yes, Sam had to admit she had one of the best jobs in the world. If only they could avoid capture or being stranded it would absolutely be the best job.

She sat down on a low rock and began to plot her next move. The particle beam machine had been planned, she just needed to make some alterations before she started building it. General Hammond had given her leeway to do this. A huge part of her was so pleased that some Edorans had come through. If it was just the Colonel to save she wasn't sure the General would have been able to justify the money she was spending. As it was the people who had come needed to go home.

Now, after a month, they were beginning to assume the worst about their families. Some had even begun to make a life here. One couple had become betrothed, engaged as Sam understood it. One baby had been born and sadly one elderly member had died. Sam felt so guilty, oh so guilty. She knew she was going as fast as she could but it wasn't quick enough- not by a long shot. As she sat on the rock Sam began to feel the start of doubt, she hated doubt, it was something she refused to let anyone else see, she kept it buried. No-one found it in her, not her dad, mom, brother, General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill. The only one who noticed it was….

"Sam you ok?" came the voice from behind her, Daniel. He was so like her it was scary. They both had their theories and their own niggling doubts.

"I was worried, Janet said you were kind of out of it" Daniel stated standing behind her.

"I'm ok Daniel, just needed some time to think"

Daniel watched his friend, looked at her critically for the first time in a good few weeks. She was tired, more than that, exhausted. He could see that there was something else. Janet had caught him on his way to Sam's lab. She was concerned, they all knew Sam and Jack were friends but Janet seemed to suggest that Sam felt more. Daniel had laughed it off. Jack was her CO, her friend, nothing else- right. Standing watching her he began to wonder.

"Sam…ah Janet asked me to come talk to you, she mentioned a possible problem…ah regulation wise" he said getting a little redder with every word and coughing nervously through the sentence. He hated this!!!!

Sam's shoulders sagged further. "I don't know anymore Daniel" she replied softly. "In my mind there is no problem but in my heart, now Janet pointed it out, maybe there is one"

"Oh I don't know" she shouted as she stood and threw her arms in the air. She turned towards him, her eyes looking like a scared child demanding reassurance.

Daniel tilted his head and smiled a little. "Sam it's ok, we can work out all this stuff later. You need to relax and focus on the one problem you can solve. You can bring him home. Come on your assistant told me all the tests were completed.

As quick as she had disappeared Major Carter reappeared and Sam was pushed to one side. 'Yes' she thought taking Daniel's outstretched arm 'there will be time to sort this when he comes home'.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2. Hope you all like

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_Green grass_

'He slept with her, Oh God he slept with her, he doesn't need to say anything. It's written all over their faces. I can't look, I need to get away. He's asking her to come, NO I can't deal with that' Sam turned, her thoughts consuming her, to study the grass beneath her, desperate to get her thoughts from her CO and his new girlfriend. A huge part of her wanted to be angry, was desperate for it but so much of her hurt, ached.

'How could I be so stupid' she berated herself. 'I lived a whole dream, had pictured this moment of his rescue and not once did she feature' Sam stared off at the ground only turning back as Daniel touched her shoulder. Jack had moved past them on his way back to the gate, not looking any of them in the eye.

Daniel looked at Sam, her mask had completely slipped. She had held it together for 3 months barely sleeping, only eating when he, Teal'c or Janet forced her. But she had kept going, been actually ok. Daniel realised with sorrow that with one dismissal and no thanks Jack had destroyed his friend.

Daniel practically led an almost collapsing Sam after Jack. He gave her the space to come out of it on her own and a gentle nudge to remind her she couldn't fall apart until they got home.

Teal'c followed behind, very aware that O'Neill had made several serious errors of judgement. The last one was his complete disregard for what Major Carter had been saying. Teal'c was reluctant to get involved but could not allow O'Neill to hurt her in this way.

They arrived at the gate and SG4 dialled earth. All 4 were soon standing back in the SGC. O'Neill looked like he would kill any of the SF's who smiled the wrong way. Hammond came down to meet him "Jack it's great to see you again" he stated enthusiastically.

Jack merely looked at him "I suppose Sir, I imagine I have to report to Frasier" he said with the opposite tone to Hammond.

"Eh Yes" the General stuttered, unsure of what was going on.

Hammond looked behind O'Neill and took in the shell-shocked figure of Samantha Carter being held up by her team-mates. 'The mission has not gone well' he thought.

"SG1 get yourself checked and we will debrief in an hour, then you can have some downtime."

The three team-mates made their way slowly to the infirmary. Daniel could feel Sam closing up. She had let down some of her walls in the last few weeks. They had discussed her feelings for Jack and, although nothing had been finalised, he was convinced that had today gone differently Sam would have requested reassignment. Now he could see the walls going back up, her eyes showed no emotion, she would hide that part of her forever.

'What a total mess' he thought.

It only got worse as they entered the infirmary.

"Look Doc, I'm fine. It's been great, fishing, working outdoors, nice people, I've had a ball. You don't need to stick me with one of those needles" Jack's voice could be clearly heard

Daniel turned to Sam as he heard what could only be described as a whimper. She looked like she might faint, she grabbed his hand and whispered

"Tell him I'm sorry, I didn't know he would want to stay" with that she let go his hand and ran from the room. Daniel could only look on with dismay as his heart broke for her.

She moved quickly down the corridor to the elevator. She needed out, needed fresh air, freedom, away from here; her thoughts, his accusations, his rejection. The lift doors closed as Teal'c pushed inside. "You should not be alone Major Carter, I will accompany you wherever you wish to go"

Sam smiled a weak smile and hit the button for the gym; she knew that Hammond would fire her if she left the base before being cleared. The base gym was the closest thing to freedom she could get at this time. They walked into the quiet room and Sam sat dejectedly on one of the scattered pieces of equipment.

They stayed silent for a long time, then she spoke "Does he really hate me for bringing him home. I thought I was doing what he would want"

"I do not believe O'Neill hates you, he just needs time to adjust. As Dr Jackson pointed out, he did not expect to ever return"

Sam seemed satisfied with that answer. Soon she had composed herself and they made their way to the infirmary.

Teal'c was finished quickly and Sam was left alone with Janet.

"I thought you would be happier to have the Colonel back" Janet started cautiously. She was shocked with the pained look on Sam's face.

"He….eh he found someone on Edora, me rescuing him meant he had to leave her behind. I don't think he is too happy about that" Janet watched her friend sadly. She knew she had been right about Sam's feelings, about why she worked so hard. This information also explained why the Colonel had been so surly during his examination.

Janet continued with her examination keeping an eye on Sam as she slowly worked. It didn't take long for Janet to see that Sam was at breaking point and could not take much more, in particular a briefing where Jack, his girlfriend and possible annoyance at being rescued would be the topics of discussion.

Leaving the struggling Major on a bed she went into her office and called the General.

"Sir it's Doctor Frasier, I request Major Carter be left out of the briefing"

"She's fine sir, but is too exhausted to make a decent contribution"

"I plan to send her home for some rest Sir"

"Yes at least a week, complete downtime then light duties Sir" there was silence as the General asked after O'Neill "The Colonel is fine sir, all tests check out, he had a lovely time according to him" She said a little spitefully "Thank you Sir" she replied as the General granted her request.

Janet walked back into the infirmary her shift over. She gave Sam a vitamin shot then took her arm "C'mon Sam, lets get you home, go pick up your keys, don't worry about the briefing"

Sam, completely out of character, followed her out the door.

Meanwhile Hammond started the briefing with the rest of SG1. Daniel looked towards Hammond after he called them to order "Ah Sir, where is Sam?" He looked at the others as he asked. Teal'c looked like he knew and Jack, much to Daniel's annoyance looked as if he didn't care.

"Doctor Frasier has sent Major Carter on downtime" Hammond answered

His answer was covered with Jack's scoff, "Downtime, have you not had enough of that in the last 3 months"

It was debatable at that point who would injure the insolent Colonel first. If looks could kill he would have suffered a long and painful death at the hands of three men.

AN: Ok so Sam is a little out of character but in this reality she has spent two months dreaming of a life with Jack. I still think the end of Hundred Days was awful in our world. More tomorrow


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. In which Jack is an even bigger idiot!!! Please note this is AU so Canon is changed, this would replace the scene where Daniel goes to see Jack

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_The red of anger and shame_

Over the next week or so things had appeared to go back to something like normal. Hammond had silenced Jack in the briefing with a look and in turn Jack had not asked why Sam might need the time off, the others had not volunteered the information.

SG1 had a week off. Jack had left, Teal'c and Daniel had spent time at the base and looking in on Sam. It had been very clear from the beginning that Sam had returned to the mask of Major Carter. She was resting and eating as ordered but didn't seem to have any enjoyment of life in her eyes. Daniel was worried.

Once back to work Hammond had decided that the light duties should include a diplomatic mission to Tollana. As Sam sat outside her ex-CO's house she couldn't understand how, in the space of a day, her entire working life could be completely turned around. 'He quit, how could he quit?' she continued to ask herself. She was here as she had lost the straw. Hammond had no idea she was here, but if she was honest she needed to be here. She needed to find out why things had gone so wrong.

She took a deep breath and got out of the car. Quickly, before she could stop herself, she marched up to his door and knocked.

Jack made his way to the door- not in the mood for company. He assumed it would be one of his team but he really didn't need to see any of them.

"Carter" he said with distain as he opened the door.

"Hi Sir, eh can I come in?" she replied, trying to sound cheerful

He could tell she was not going away so just walked back from the door.

Once inside his living room, and still not facing her he said "So what brings you here Carter, just couldn't live without me?" his voice full of spite.

Sam was initially flummoxed "Well Sir I was worried about you. You are not acting yourself"

"Really Carter and how long have you known me in order to say that?"

"Well a couple of years and you couldn't have been like this underneath all that time"

Jack smirked, not a nice one but a pretty evil one "Oh come on Carter you better than anyone should know what a black ops soldier is capable of hiding" he sneered, leaning towards her.

Sam, for the first time since she had left Jonas Hanson, shrunk back from a man.

"What's the matter Carter, you can't be afraid of me. I'm the great Colonel O'Neill, wouldn't hurt anyone unless they had a snake in them. Oh that's right you did"

Her eyes widened in fear and shock. She was about to turn away from him when she stopped. Not looking at him she asked the obvious question.

"What happened to you Sir, why have you changed?"

Jack saw his opportunity to go in for the kill "Well being stranded for months while your 'expert' team can't figure out how to get you home can change someone"

This was the last straw for Sam, she had been on an emotional edge for weeks and his words sent her over it. She turned to move out of the open door. Speaking quietly she said "I'm sorry Sir. I tried to work faster. I let you down, I'm sorry"

"Oh come on Carter" his scornful, sarcastic voice came from over her shoulder, "I bet you hardly spent anytime on it, there is no way it could have taken you 3 months if you were putting all your effort into it"

Finally Sam snapped, all that emotion turning quickly to anger

"You know you can be a real jerk sometimes Sir. For your information" she turned to face him, her voice rising and eyes betraying her near tears status.

"I worked every single day, all day. Janet had to get me to stop and sleep, I usually didn't listen. I designed something that has never been made on earth before. I found the materials, I convinced the Chief of Staff it was a good idea and then I built it. I had roughly 2 hours sleep a night so I'm sorry I couldn't work quicker for you but quite frankly you looked cosy enough when we arrived to rescue you."

Jack was a little taken aback but pressed on, he had a mission "Ah ha jealous are we Carter, you know the regs" he waggled his finger at her as if scolding a child "Besides I didn't have much of a choice did I" his voice rising "You had all left me behind"

Sam looked at him and quietly finished the conversation "If you truly believe that then you're right you never knew us and we never knew you. I never thought I would say this but I really hope I never see you again"

She turned and walked away from him, feeling more heartbroken than she had in a very long time.


	4. Chapter 4

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_The shimmering blue puddle_

Sam had thought last week was bad enough. Hearing the way he had dismissed her and her efforts had had hurt. She had spent most of the week trying to get her mind off him, she had failed spectacularly.

Last night while lying in bed, not sleeping again, the solution had come to her. It was so easy. So Sam had arrived at work to speak to the General only to meet O'Neill coming out of his office. She had saluted then looked at the ground, unwilling to see the distain in his eyes. He didn't even acknowledge her as he passed. She knew they had both said some horrible things to each other but she had half hoped that on seeing each other again it might be different. She had watched him walk down the corridor, cocky, like he owned the place, yet never acknowledging anyone.

"Major?"

"Oh sorry sir, could I speak to you for a moment?"

Hammond had looked at his watch and then asked her to return an hour later after he had finished with O'Neill. She wasn't quite sure what that meant.

She did now. Now she was standing in the Gateroom, watching the blue shimmer of the event horizon she loved, trying to forget that he was leaving. She had known it would happen ever since she saw him on Edora but he was being so cold about it. He wouldn't miss them, wouldn't miss her, she understood that now. She had spent months desperate to see him again but he had not felt that. He had found happiness somewhere else, not with her. He had made a life for himself there. One where rules and regulations didn't follow him, one where he could live in peace without any of the universe in peril stuff he clearly hated.

She looked around the room, all of his friends, his colleagues were there. Everyone on the base who liked him, respected him, fought with him and rescued them all on many occasions. He didn't even acknowledge them. That thought alone started to make her blood boil and the tears spring to her eyes. However she was not going to cry would not give him the satisfaction. She could feel her pulse rise, her breathing increase, she really was not sure if she would get through this.

He didn't even look at them as he turned to move up the ramp. He stopped at the top but did not turn round. As he stepped through she felt her legs give way as Teal'c stepped subtly towards her. She had to leave, get away from here, her decision of the early hours had been the correct one.

Sam pulled herself together and followed the General from the room and towards his office.

Walking in she remained ramrod straight and addressed him "Sir with permission I would like a transfer to Area 51"

The General looked stunned, he had not expected this. "Sam what is going on, I can't believe you would want to leave the SGC"

"It's personal Sir" she answered holding eye contact "I would prefer not to discuss it"

"Sam talk to me, what on Earth has caused you to come to this decision?"

"Sir I feel I would be of better use looking at the technology we bring back" She knew it was a feeble excuse and by the look on Hammond's face so did he.

"Would I be able to convince you to stay?"

"I would prefer a transfer Sir"

"And you won't give me a valid reason"

"I have given you my reason Sir"

"Well it is unacceptable Major, request for a transfer denied" He sat down fully expecting the conversation to be over.

"I'm sorry Sir, I regret that I must hand in my resignation, effective immediately. I will clear out my stuff and be gone by the end of the day" With that Sam pulled a letter from her back pocket, laid it on the desk, saluted and walked out of the office.

Hammond looked at the letter, unsure how to proceed. He opened the letter and read the succinct words slowly. She had resigned her commission, as was her right. Granted he didn't think the President or Jacob were going to see it this way but he was realising that he had no choice but to accept her decision. His week was going completely downhill.

Packing in her lab Sam was soon accosted by a panicked Daniel and worried Teal'c.

"Why Sam, I don't understand, Jack is gone he can't hurt you now" Daniel argued. She slumped behind her desk checking that the door was closed.

"It doesn't matter Daniel, anywhere I go all I can see is him, all I can hear are his words as he told me how….. how worthless I was, I can't work here anymore" She had realised late in the night that she was haunted by him, even when he lived just across town and not on another planet. She had looked back on the last few days and apart from the time spent with the team she had walked aimlessly from place to place always seeing him disappearing round the corner, except it was never him.

She zoned back into the conversation with her friends. Daniel looked pained "but Sam what about us, we're here and we care for you, more than Jack did. Stay for us"

He tried not to beg but he knew he was failing. SG1 was his family and it was being destroyed, Jack had destroyed it.

"I'm sorry Daniel" she replied looking close to collapse "I just can't" with that she picked up her lap top, hugged her two best friends and walked towards the elevator.

She went to the infirmary to talk to Janet.

"Tell me it's not true" Janet demanded as soon as Sam stepped in the door

"What?" she exclaimed

"Tell me you didn't throw away your career for that complete jerk?" Janet almost shouted

"Janet I really don't want to talk about this here. Yes I have decided to go, yes it is something to do with him but I need to go. I can't stay here"

"Sam this is stupid, ridiculous, and did I mention stupid"

"What's ridiculous is not sleeping for a week, or following strangers because they look like him. Getting out of here is the most sensible thing I have done for at least 5 months"

Janet winced realising the implications of the amount of time. Sam felt she had been stupid to rescue the Colonel. Janet could almost agree with that given how he was behaving.

"Look I'll come round on Saturday and spend time with you and Cassie, then I think I am just going to drive somewhere"

Sam hugged her friend and made a speedy retreat.

Jack had a lot to answer for according to many people that night.

As Sam drove down the mountain she began to enjoy the green of the mountain and the fresh air. She rarely spent time outside during the day unless it was on another planet, and even on the quietest planet's it was not possible to just enjoy it. She breathed deeply all the mountain scents coming through the window. She smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was time to live her life, not continue to sacrifice everything for her job. Today was a brand new day.


	5. Chapter 5

On to Chapter 5 - and Jack is back - oh dear. Thanks for all the reviews. It's great to hear from you all.

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_The grey of despair_

Jack's mission was complete, he had caught the bad guys. It had taken just over a week off-world to get everything sorted a little longer than planned but it was done. He had found the culprit, Makepeace, with SG-2 which surprised him a little as the plan had been for him to join SG1. But none of that mattered now that had been easy, what he had to do now was the difficult part he just had to make up with his team, Carter in particular.

He stood at the top of the ramp and he looked around the Gateroom. Daniel, Teal'c and Hammond were there, he scanned the control room expecting to see Carter as Hammond gave a brief outline of the mission he had been on.

His team really didn't say much, which for Danny was odd.

"So guys miss me?" he asked in his jovial way.

The looks he received from Daniel told him he had missed a lot but perhaps not been missed.

There was a commotion from the Gateroom door, he looked over hoping to see Carter only to see Cassie barrelling into the room followed by a flustered Janet.

"Hey Cass I'm back" Jack said with a smirk. Without thinking Cass ran on to the ramp so she was higher than Jack. Whilst Jack expected a hug Cassie lifted her arm and punched him in the face.

Quietly, with tremendous venom for a 13 year old, she stated "I have no idea what is going on, but I know that it is YOUR fault. How could you Jack, do we mean so little to you. I think I really hate you" Leaving her stunned family behind her Cassie ran from the room.

"Would someone, anyone, care to tell me what the hell is going on" Jack bellowed.

This did not help his case; Janet increased her ice cold stare, Daniel looked as if he could burst into tears or hit Jack while Teal'c looked as if he could kill Jack with his little finger.

Pleading to, what appeared to be, the only sane person in the room, Jack turned to Hammond

"Sir I know I have been out of the loop a couple of weeks but is this a parallel universe or something?" Hammond appeared unwilling to answer, uncharacteristically not meeting Jack's eye.

Jack looked around again and huffed "Where is Carter, she is usually able to explain these things" he said, almost to himself.

The comment broke both Daniel and Janet, Daniel started;

"Why you arrogant jerk, she left, she's gone. You made her feel worthless so she left. Teal'c and I couldn't stop her, neither could Janet. And even a crying Cassie wasn't enough. She left no forwarding address, all because of you, you destroyed her"

"People lets take this upstairs" Hammond interjected sternly, aware of all the eyes around the small group.

"No General, with all due respect to you I really don't want to be in the same room as the Colonel, not ever again" Daniel announced and walked out of the room to find Cassie.

"I agree Sir" Janet added and followed Daniel. Teal'c nodded with respect to Hammond, ignored O'Neill and went to follow his friends.

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They all found themselves in Daniel's lab. Daniel was moving around shifting objects aimlessly. "An act, it was all part of a plan" he muttered to himself "he destroyed Sam, ruined SG1 for a stupid plan" he moved around again "orders, God I hate orders" he added.

Cassie was curled up in his rocking chair being comforted by Janet.

"Why did she have to go, doesn't she care about me anymore" Cassie asked, the same question she had asked since Sam had said goodbye the previous Saturday. Janet wished she had an answer.

It was Teal'c that spoke up "Cassandra Frasier you should not fret. Samantha Carter loves you as she loves us. She merely requires time to come to terms with the changes in her life"

Cassie looked up at her large uncle and nodded, soothed by his answer. It wasn't a fob off he was telling her as much as he knew.

Addressing the other people in the room, Teal'c spoke.

"I believe it would be wise to contact Samantha Carter with this information. It may not ensure her return but may make her burden easier to bear."

Daniel looked at him "You know where she is?" He questioned.

"I was asked not to reveal that information" Teal'c stated "she did not wish to be disturbed".

Daniel looked incredulously at him and was about to launch into a tirade when Janet put a hand on his arm. "I'm glad she told you Teal'c, I had wondered if she would. She chose well, Daniel and I would be hounding her all the time to check if she was ok"

Daniel was mollified by her statement. Moving back to the original question he added "Yeah Teal'c she needs to know about this.

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Back in the Gateroom, Jack had now realised that this last mission had been a complete disaster.

Once the two senior officers had watched SG1 and Frasier leave, both looking a touch incredulous at the development, Hammond took control.

"Colonel a word in my office" Hammond ordered, moving towards the control room. Jack followed trying to work out exactly what had gone wrong. He came up with nothing.

Once in the office Jack sat opposite Hammond "Sir what happened, I know I put on a strong act but this is ridiculous"

Hammond didn't say anything and just passed Sam's resignation letter to him. "She asked for a transfer. I thought it was a knee-jerk reaction to you leaving so I refused. Then she handed me that, she had planned it out. What on Earth did you say to her Jack, Daniel's right she was destroyed before she even quit?"

Jack was speechless "She ah came to visit…….last week. She quit, she really quit the airforce?"

"Yes Jack I believe that is what I said, now what did you say to her" Hammond spoke quite condescendingly

"I…..ah……well the house was bugged when she came round"

"Again I know this but since I don't have access to the recording I still don't know what you said" Hammond was getting to the end of his patience

Jack squirmed on the seat, he had known he went too far but he had needed to get rid of her

" I….ah….just pushed some buttons that I knew would work. It took so long to find me, leaving me behind and ended with something about her being jealous of Laira" his voice lowered to nearly a whisper by the end

Hammond sighed, everything becoming worryingly clear. "Well Jack you really did a number on her, add to that the fact that she worked herself into the ground while you were away. Daniel said she believed you didn't want to come home then you left to go back to Edora." He took a deep breath and looked Jack in the eye.

"I believe we both seriously underestimated the effect all this might have on her"

"Do you know where she went?" Jack asked his tone revealing concern for the first time.

"No, the others may know but I don't think they will tell you"

Hammond began sorting through the papers on his desk and Jack realised the meeting was over. "If that's all Sir I'd better get to the infirmary" he began to edge out of his seat.

Hammond looked up as if from a daydream "Eh yes Jack, dismissed. Oh Jack" he resumed "there are obviously going to be some changes. Daniel put in a request for reassignment and I don't believe Teal'c will wish to stay on SG1 without the others"

Jack turned to leave, distraught for the first time in this whole debacle started.

"Jack" Hammond gained his attention "I'm sorry things have turned out this way, I know you were following orders. We could never have predicted this outcome"

Jack walked from the room with a niggling feeling that had he paid the slightest attention to his team and Sam in particular he could have predicted this all too well.


	6. Chapter 6

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_Bright yellow sand_

Sam had been riding her bike everyday for a week. She didn't know what she was trying to escape but she knew she had to keep going. She had stopped at various motels a long the way, she had used cash. She didn't mind if Daniel found her but wanted a week or so before that happened. She couldn't stand to hear Daniel beg her to come back. It had almost killed her walking away from them, especially Daniel and Cassie, mainly because they were the ones pulling out all the emotional cards. She knew Cassie wasn't doing it deliberately, she wasn't sure she could say the same about Daniel.

So now here she was, sitting on the sand looking out over the ocean. It was beautiful; she loved the sea almost as much as the night sky. Oregon was gorgeous. She had not planned to travel this way but had just found her way to this spectacular coast line. Once here she had decided it might be nice to spend time with Mark. Not immediately and not for a huge amount of time but it would still be nice to see him. Sitting with the sand hot between her feet she decided to make her way down the coast to San Diego this week.

Sam had been sitting on the beech for a few hours going over the last few months of her life. She was basically giving herself an internal talking to. She had never opened herself up so much to anyone before. She had begun to let her team in, began to show them all the real Sam Carter. Ever since her mom had died she had hidden away. Not physically of course because she was always confident on the outside, always putting forward her theories, pushing herself. But after the Academy all of that became Airforce Samantha Carter, not the real woman. She couldn't decide if she was angry with herself for opening up or at the Colonel for squashing her back down. Whether she should be happy that Daniel and the others got to know the real Sam or angry that she now felt used.

She was simply so tired. She had spent months day-dreaming her way through getting the Colonel home. She had barely noticed the days pass as she locked herself in the lab and dreamt about the new life they could have when he returned, that was a joke. She was really mad that she had spent a ridiculous number of hours working to get him home only for him to turn round and go back again, and he couldn't come back this time because he had no iris code. Had they no idea how pathetic that had made her feel. The only problem was that the real Sam felt that him leaving only went to prove what she already knew deep down, she was not enough. Not enough to keep Jonas happy, not enough to please her father and now not enough for the great Jack O'Neill.

Jack – God that conversation had circled her mind more times than she even cared to mention. He had really known where to hurt her. Had she been so obviously jealous of Laira, she didn't think she had spent enough time with the Colonel in that few weeks for him to notice anything about her. Why was he able to hurt her so much? She could hardly believe it, she hadn't even talked to him about any of this. Could she have fallen in love with someone without talking to the man himself? It would appear so. What a total nightmare.

She was about to stand and get back to the bike when her pre-paid phone started to ring. Only Teal'c had the number so she knew it would be important.

"Carter" she answered

"Sam" Janet's voice could be heard. Getting straight to the point "we thought you should know Colonel O'Neill came back" there was an audible gasp from Sam but she didn't say anything "it was all an act to catch a rogue group who were stealing technology from around the galaxy" Janet stopped to breathe and waited for Sam to respond, she didn't.

"He….ah…..he did everything because he was being watched on the base"

"What about at the house?" Sam asked quietly

"Erm…..well… we don't know why he was so nasty to you but we thought you should know he was back"

Janet stopped talking hoping Sam would speak again, after a few minutes of silence she continued

"Sam are you there?" Janet asked getting worried. She could suddenly hear the sound of Sam uncontrollably sobbing in the background.

"Sam please speak to me, tell me where you are, we can come to see you. Please Sam stop crying"

"No Janet I don't want you to come. It's just a lot to take in. Do you think he said everything because the house was bugged?" She asked again sounding lost.

In slight despair Janet could only be honest "I don't know Sam but he was part of a mission that needed you all to be separated from him"

There was silence again "He didn't need to say what he did though" Sam reasoned her voice becoming stronger. As if coming to a decision she added sternly "he must have really meant it. Thanks Janet I will keep in touch but I'm not coming back. Goodbye"

With that she hung up as Jack walked in to Daniel's lab.

"Was that Sam?" he asked quietly

"Leave Jack, you are not wanted here" Daniel almost shouted from the back of the room.

"She doesn't want to see us, she will definitely not want to see you" Janet spoke up

Jack looked completely desolate.

"I'm sorry, I know I hurt you all but I needed to shut you out. I couldn't have followed the orders if I was worried about you"

"Jack you were in black ops you could have found a way" Daniel snapped back

"If they found out the whole thing would be blown and you could be in danger"

"That's all very well Sir but did you have to say what you did to Sam, she believes you meant it"

"Look I had to get rid of her, they were listening"

"No offence Jack" Cassie started "but we are really not the ones you need to speak to"

She turned in the chair trying to push out the look on Jack's face and the sobbing she had overheard from Sam.

Looking at his team, his friends, Jack knew he had totally screwed up. He rubbed his hand through his hair in defeat. "How do I sort this? Can I sort this?" He asked them.

Sam had decided to move South. She had been really rattled by Janet's call, her mind had taken the information, processed it and come to one logical conclusion. He really must hate her. Everything he had said and done had been with a view to hurting her. Sure the place might have been bugged but he could have just asked her to leave. There was no other explanation he said it all not to get rid of her but to hurt her. She had done the right thing in leaving. If she had been there and he had returned, wow she would have probably collapsed on the spot.

She stopped for a quick lunch then continued to her next motel. She was a couple of days from San Diego and should call Mark.

Sam sat on the bed, a little nervously, phone in hand. Mark had always made her feel like a teenager again, caught doing something wrong.

The phone rang and she waited for an answer.

"Mark Carter"

"Mark, it's Sam"

"Sam, how are you? Where are you? Some guy has been calling all day for you, are you in San Diego?"

"Mark stop for a minute. I'm fine, I was going to come for a visit" she stalled "Who's been calling?"

"A Jack O'Neill, says he's a friend and needs to talk to you. He must be psychic, knowing you were going to call."

Sam thought for a moment, should she continue with her plan? She shook herself, she had to stop running some time. He would never come to San Diego anyway.

"Maybe he is, listen can I come and stay, I will explain when I get there, probably tomorrow night?"

"Of course Sam but are you sure you are in no trouble, can I help you?"

"I'm fine Mark. I quit the airforce and need somewhere to relax a little"

"Ok we can talk tomorrow" Mark replied a little shell-shocked at the announcement from his career orientated sister.

"Mark can you do me a favour. Don't tell anyone I'm coming"

"No problem Sam, take care on the bike"

"Bye Mark"

Jack took off the head-set satisfied. His black-ops training had come in handy. He knew Sam would go to Mark eventually. Now did he take reinforcements or go to see her alone. Time for another conversation with his team, if he still had one.


	7. Chapter 7

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_Pale pink of confession_

Jack sat in a car, very unlike anything he would ever pick, watching Mark's house for any sight of Sam. He knew if he picked the obvious truck she would come down the road and quickly hi-tail it back to where she had been for the last 8 days.

At around 8:00 at night Jack heard the familiar roar of Sam's motorcycle. She came down the road past him and stopped outside her brothers house. As she stepped off the bike Jack began to realise what destroying her looked like. Her shoulders were drooped; there was no spring in her step and definitely no smile on her face.

He shook his head, Hammond and Daniel were right he had done something that wasn't even forgivable. He had not really believed them, figured she had left because her pride was dented, how wrong could he be. He was tempted to leave, run from the obvious nightmare he had created. However he had told Daniel and Cassie that he would try and talk to her and he really needed to start keeping promises.

Jack got out of the car and walked towards her. As he approached he gently called to her "Sam"

She whipped round to face him.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded with steel in her voice that he had never heard before.

"I came to see you. Ah are you ok?" he tried to move a little closer but felt she might attack if he was too close.

"Did Mark tell you I was coming? Did you threaten him or something?" She moved towards him accusingly

"No, he doesn't know I'm here, I promise" Jack began to back up

"You promise. Ha, like I'm supposed to believe anything you say. Go home Sir, like I said before I really don't want to see you again"

She turned and left him on the pavement.

"Sam" he called out to her. She stopped, not turning to face him.

"I came to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did"

She sighed and turned her head "With all due respect Sir, I really don't believe you" her voice dripping with sarcasm and ending, to Jack's dismay, with sadness.

She walked up the path, knocked once and went into her brothers home, never looking back at Jack.

As Mark came out of his dining room to meet Sam he was presented with his little sister sliding to the floor, her body racked with sobs.

He had not seen her this distressed since their mother had died. He ran to catch or comfort her.

"Sam what is it, what's wrong?" he asked, his panic evident.

"Why did he have to come?" she managed to get out between sobs. Just at that moment the doorbell rang. For the first time in his life Mark saw fear in Sam's eyes.

He helped her gently to her feet "Its ok I'll get rid of him" Mark said making the accurate judgement that the person practically leaning on his doorbell was connected to Sam's previous comment.

"No" she stated firmly. "If I don't do this now it will haunt me for the rest of my life"

She abruptly turned and opened the door. Jack stood on the other side wearing an expression of remorse but he also had an air of determination.

"Sir" Sam began "You have 5 minutes to explain your actions of the last few weeks since I assume that is why you have come. Then I expect you to leave"

Caught a little off guard he looked at Mark and then at Sam "Do I at least get to come in and speak?"

Sam stepped back, pulled Mark with her and walked towards the dining room. Jack followed.

The table took up much of the space, Sam walked to the far side keeping it between her and Jack.

"Well!" she said glaring at him

"Sam I know I have been a complete jerk since …eh… you had to rescue me" Jack started trying to make sure that no national secrets were given away to Mark who had remained with Sam.

"I hadn't realised the amount of work you needed to put in and I assumed you would all forget me, I……eh know better now"

He stopped and took a breath, looking at Sam he could tell that she expected more.

"At my house, it was bugged. I was trying to complete a mission. I needed you to leave me behind and convince the people listening I had changed. I did it the easy way by being nasty to you"

He stuck his hands in his pockets and continued

"I don't expect you to understand or forgive me. I don't deserve that but don't throw your career away over me. I'm not worth it" he finished.

Sam didn't look like she was going to say anything so Jack turned to leave

"I have one question" Sam said quietly

"Did you go back to her or was that part of your mission?"

Jack turned back to face her and really studied her. Her eyes were downcast but he could see how red and puffy they were. She had no confidence, as if completely downtrodden. She was nervous and scared, of him or what he might say? He wondered.

"It was the most convenient reason to allow me to get off…….base. So no I didn't go back to her"

Sam visibly relaxed

"Did you mean anything you said, even a little bit?" Sam asked shyly

He looked at her and realised that if he wasn't completely truthful now he would never get another chance. Boy this was going to be hard. He took a deep breath.

"When I was away, the first time, I believed there was no way home. You might not plan to leave me but I figured you would have no choice. It was a long time and after a while I did think that you hadn't tried" Sam winced and Jack quickly continued "but I had no idea of what was involved, you know me and technology Carter. Once I was shown what you had done I was so proud of you Sam. As for Laira, I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. I have no excuses she was there and I….." he began to stumble

"I couldn't have what I wanted…..you"

Sam's eyes shot up to meet his.

Beginning to realise the root of the problem Mark backed out of the room and left them alone.

"Daniel told me how you feel Sam, he didn't mean to, he got a little mad at me and it came out. I know I've hurt you and betrayed your faith in me, but I care about you so much, please tell me I haven't completely destroyed any 'us' that could exist"

Sam stared at him and for the first time in 3 years his emotions were written all over his face.

"I've missed you so much" she said quietly, almost shocked that she had said anything.

He smiled a small smile and moved around the table towards her. As he got closer she opened her stance, dropping her arms and tilting her face to look in his eyes.

"I missed you too" he said finally

He stopped in front of her, his eyes twinkling

"You know there is one good thing to come out of this massive disaster I have made"

"What's that?"

"If I kiss you, we are not breaking any rules"

Sam looked startled "Do you want to?" she asked shyly

He tilted her head up with his finger "Oh yeah" he responded quietly before doing exactly that.

AN: One more chapter to go. Thanks for all the recent reviews. Sorry I have not responded personally, been ridiculously busy and ill.


	8. Chapter 8

Well here is the end, I hope you all enjoy. Again thanks for the reviews. I plan to reply to them all over the next few, hopefully less stressful, days

A Hundred Shades of Colour

_The beautiful colour of truth_

_Set four years later during episode Inauguration in series 7. The President is in discussion with Kinsey, Woolsey and General Maynard._

"That's another issue Mr President, there is clearly more going on between them than is appropriate" Kinsey argued

"Are you saying fraternisation regulations have been broken" asked the President warily

"Sir you only need to read the reports to see how they have defied airforce rules" Kinsey stated.

The President looked round the room and was surprised at what he saw. Kinsey looked smug, to be expected, Woolsey looked very uncomfortable, not expected, and the General looked like he was going to burst out laughing –very surprising.

Kinsey continued "Sir I wouldn't expect them to indicate any inappropriate behaviour but it is clear that Col. O'Neill and Major Carter care more about each other than their working relationship allows"

He finished and sat back fully expecting the President to demand an explanation from the General. Kinsey turned to the General, smug look still in place, he went pale at the expression on the General's face

"Sir" then General Maynard began, only focussing on his new Commander in Chief "I would truly hope that O'Neill and Carter cared for each other since they have been married for 4 years"

He left his bomb to drop. Kinsey's face was a picture so the General went in for the kill.

"For the record Sirs despite their relationship they have been willing to die for their country, O'Neill actually killed Carter, both have been declared MIA and neither have ever been given special privileges due to their relationship"

Kinsey began to splutter "Why…….this…..but….. why was I not informed of this development"

"it was deemed to be 'need to know'. You Sir did not need to know" Maynard took great delight in informing him

"How did they keep this a secret" the President asked, impressed

"Well Sir, officially only a few people know, myself, the airforce Chief of Staff, General Hammond, your predecessor and Dr Frasier, the base CMO. Outside the military they told Major Carter's immediate family. I would imagine that unofficially the whole base knows but they are a tight bunch and keep secrets for a living, what is one more?

Woolsey spoke next with awe evident in his voice "But married, how did that happen"

FLASHBACK-

_Mark Carter's house 4 years ago_

Jack and Sam's kiss was fairly spectacular and would have continued if her niece had not arrived from school concert rehearsal.

"Auntie Sam, why are you kissing him" the high pitched voice came from the doorway.

Jack nearly jumped into the ceiling and Sam started giggling so much she had to sit down, at which point her niece, Abby, threw herself on her lap.

"Daddy said you were coming and I was so excited, can you come to school tomorrow for show and tell. Oh and my concert's on Friday, I have a big part I sing and dance and play the drums. Can you come – Please"

Sam looked from her pleading niece to a shrugging Mark and finally to Jack

"I'm not sure sweetie, there are some things I need to take care of this week"

"Please" the little girl continued, her blue eyes drooping like a little puppy

Sam looked to the others in the room for help and could see no-one was going to take the dilemma from her.

Suddenly Jack spoke up "Well I don't know about you Carter but I have always been a sucker for the Carter girl's blue eyes"

Sam smiled at that comment and almost started to cry. She had no idea how they had got to this point. She had been sure that everything she had felt was one sided. Daniel had tried to convince her that the Col….. no Jack felt something for her but she had been reluctant to believe it. But he had filled her wildest dreams, they would sort things out and they would be able to do it away from the rules of the mountain.

Mark's wife Kate arrived from the car and realised that the house was much fuller than it had been at dinner time.

Sam quickly recognised that it was time for introductions, but how to phrase it. Amazingly it was taken out of her hands. Jack walked over to the other adults.

"Hi I'm Jack O'Neill, I was Sam's CO, now I'm not sure what I am but I love her and that's why I'm here. You must be Mark and Kate"

Over his shoulder Sam looked stunned, Mark wore the same expression, only Kate could save the conversation "Well Jack it's nice to meet you. Jacob spoke about you when he visited. He seemed to like you" Jack visibly relaxed

"I imagine that might change when he hears about developments here" Jack stated.

"Yes I imagine it might too or did I misunderstand, you were her CO? The General will not be happy about that" Mark shook his head as if scolding one of his own children. In part he was doing it as a joke but he also remembered how desolate Sam had looked not 20 minutes before, not to mention the fact that his Dad might kill Jack for breaking the rules like this.

"Yes well we will cross that wonderful bridge when we come to it" Jack said sarcastically, trying to divert the conversation from Jacob

"Oh Jacob is a pussy-cat now. Nothing like when Mark and I got married" Kate stated "He won't be that mad will he?"

The faces round the room told their own story until Sam shook her head and walked up to stand beside Jack

She took his hand "No he won't be mad, not if I'm happy he won't" turning to her brother she asked "can you guys recommend a hotel, we need some time to sort things out"

The week had gone well, at least after the major discussion they had on the first night.

They had found the hotel that Mark recommended and booked in, Jack had assumed this was an easy task; it was, until Sam wondered why he had taken the liberty of booking only one room.

The discussion had gone dramatically down hill from there.

"You can't make assumptions without asking Sir" Sam spoke up as they entered the room he had rented.

"Jack, Sam, the name is Jack" he spoke a little condescendingly as he through his wallet and sun specs on the small bedside table

"I know what your name is" she snapped back

"Look I thought we would want to spend time together, you know as a guy and a girl" he turned and waved at the bed, earning himself a glare from Sam.

"That's not the point. We have a lot to discuss; you can't just arrive, kiss me and expect everything to be ok"

"I don't, that's why we booked the room" this was supposed to be happily ever after time, but it wasn't happening, not yet.

"Why were you so horrible when I came to your house?" Sam asked, her mind still could not leave that horrific conversation

"I told you it was the easiest way to convince the people listening and to get you to leave"

"You could have just told me to leave"

"And would you have gone?"

"Yes"

"Carter you had a full head of steam that day it would have taken a 10 ton truck to move you"

"So instead of a truck you decided to destroy me?" She shouted

There was a deathly silence. He had known what had happened to her, Daniel had screamed it at him, Cassie had punched him as payment but to hear her say it shocked him to the core. Sam seemed to realise what she had revealed and retreated to looking out the window with her back to him.

"It was a cheap shot" he finally said

"I did need to convince everyone. I needed you to not want to have anything to do with me. I needed Maybourne to believe I was a nasty piece of work and I took a cheap shot"

"How did you know about Laira?" she had struggled with that bit, everything else was common sense. She maybe didn't like that he wanted her to work quicker but she could understand it. Heck she had spend a good two of the three months wishing she could work quicker herself. However his comment about her jealousy, while in some ways correct, had been a surprise.

"Because if it had been you that had been alone I would have been really jealous of the guy you spent time with"

"I would never have slept with him if I wanted you" Sam whispered quietly

"I know Sam. I am so sorry. It only happened once, and I hate the excuse but I truly believed that I was never coming home"

"Are you glad I rescued you?" Sam's mind had taken her back to the awful day when much of this had started. Had it only been a month ago? He had seemed so angry to be back. Through all of the recent chaos she had wondered if he wished he was still on Edora.

Jack walked up behind her and put his arms around her

"Thank you for working so hard to get me home. I belong here, with you and the others. I'm sorry I was such an ass back then, you caught me by surprise coming to get me"

"I will always get you back" Sam whispered

"Yes you will, I know that now"

Sam turned in his arms

"I love you Jack, so much"

"I love you too"

During the rest of the week Sam and Jack spent their days talking and getting to know each other better then would join Mark's family for food at night. They had called Teal'c and Daniel who decided that a little vacation might be fun. They would arrive that Friday.

When Daniel and Teal'c arrived they brought a letter from General Hammond. They were in the hotel lounge area when Daniel handed it to Jack.

Jack took the letter and read it, his face looking shocked as he re-read it.

"You should read this Sam" he handed her the letter

Sam read through the General's familiar scrawl "Is he serious?" she asked

Daniel was extremely curious now "What does it say Sam?"

Sam read aloud

"_Jack, can I start by saying how glad I am that you have found her. Tell her I hope she is well. Jack the President and I have been talking. It's amazing the things we came up with. He would like Sam to retake her commission at some point soon. He would like me to point out that at the moment you are not in the same team and that you could be together now then return to SG1. Son I don't have to tell you exactly what would need to be done but think about it, you could always date later._

_Get in touch to let me know your decision. Take care of her Jack. By the way Jacob is fine with all of this in case you are worried"_

"Wow" Daniel was the first to speak

"Indeed" Teal'c agreed.

"So what are you going to do, you know if you do this, got married that is, nothing would have to change. We could go back to SG1 and everything would be fine" Daniel rambled, only he realised that the family he had mourned could be returned.

As Daniel spoke Jack watched Sam as her eyes widened, he began to see hope, then worry then abject terror cross her face.

"Shut up Daniel" he said quietly but firmly.

Daniel turned to Jack who nodded discreetly towards Sam. Sam could feel all eyes turn to her so she took the only course she could see, she fled the room

"What did I say?" Daniel asked totally oblivious

"Good work space monkey" Jack said rubbing his hand across his face

"She was just at the point of trusting me, talking to me" he said despondently "what do I do now. Is this just too fast or does she not want this at all"

Daniel began to realise what his speech, and desire for everything to go back to what it was before had done. "Sorry Jack" he said meekly

"O'Neill I believe it would be wise if you examined your feelings on this issue before discussing this with Major Carter" Teal'c stated, ever the pragmatist

"I agree Teal'c" Daniel piped up "So Jack how do you feel"

Jack looked at him and thought for a moment

"I love her and if I could do SG1 and have her in my life it would be ….. well unbelievable"

"Do you really think that Jack?" Sam asked quietly from behind him

"Sam" Jack almost shouted spinning around in his chair.

She looked very vulnerable, as if she couldn't believe what he was saying. Jack knew he had one chance to handle this. How was it possible to be so good in explosive conditions and useless at this?

He stood and walked to her, he took her hand and tipped her chin up so she would look him in the eye

"Sam I love you and if you want this I would love it to happen"

She started to smile. Leaning in to almost kiss him she quietly said "Let's get married then"

He bent the final inch and kissed her, then picked her up and twirled her around.

They turned to the guys "So guys how about a wedding in the next few days"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm afraid I can't give you all the details Mr Woolsey, it's classified" the General said solomnly but with a twinkle in his eye that said he took pleasure in saying that

"It's above board though?" the President queried.

"Yes Sir, totally legitimate there is nothing anyone can do to change it" the General directed his comments to Kinsey

"Oh and Sir, with respect, this is not allowed to leave this room. Under the agreement between O'Neill, Carter and your predecessor it cannot be made public or used in anyway to discredit them or the program"

"That's fine"

"But…..Sir……this is highly irregular" Kinsey sputtered

"Kinsey you keep your mouth shut or you get fired, understood?"

"Yes Sir" Even Vice-President Kinsey knew when he had been outmanoeuvred


End file.
